Outside My Window

About 7:00 AM

This morning as I sat sipping my first cup of coffee, I looked out my window to see this beautiful sunrise. With hues of pink, yellow, purple and blue took my breath away. I grabbed my camera and headed out to get a closer look. It was only about a quarter of a mile outside the city that I pulled over to take some pictures. As I marveled at the beauty of a brand new sunrise, I couldn't help but feel the Lord's mercy that is brand new each and every day. Just a few minutes later I took this picture and as I turned to get back into my car I came face to face with a county sheriff. He had his lights on so it must have looked like I had been pulled over to passers by, but he just smiled and asked me if everything was alright. I pointed to this view and said, "I just had to get some pictures." He said, "OK, just checking."

About a half mile up the same road, I took this shot of natural beauty. God is good!

When I came home I continued with my reading in the book of Luke at the point where Jesus was born. I read as if it were the first time I had read this book. I am more aware now than I have been of my inability to recall information since my hysterectomy. As I read this book I took in the words as if they were brand new to me. I know the general occurrences in each of the Gospels, but have been unable to recall them in more specific terms. My inability to articulate and recall as I used to has been a huge issue for me for almost two years.

As I read I paid close attention to the red letters and soaked up each and every word in an effort to know Jesus more through gaining deeper insight about his character. When I came to Luke 5:12-13 where a man with leprosy is seeking Jesus here is what I read. When the man saw Jesus he fell to his knees and begged him to heal him. My Bible says it like this, "Lord, if you want to you can make me well again." the verse then says this, "Jesus reached out and touched the man. 'I want to', he said. "Be healed."

I felt the distinct need to pray at that moment. I realized that my attempt to understand the heart of Jesus was working as I could feel his loving presence within the four walls of my family room. As I spoke these words. "Lord, if you want to you can make me well again." in that moment the red letter words in my Bible penetrated my heart as he whispered, "I want to..."

I began to realize how out of touch I have been with the Lord in the past couple of months. This brought tears to my eyes as I accepted this truth and spoke to the Lord of what he was bringing to light in my heart. I thought of my daughter who had come to me last week and said, "Mom, where should I read in the Bible? I want to grow closer to Jesus." The only thing I knew to tell her was to go to the gospels and read; being sure to pay attention the character of the Lord. I told her to pay attention to the way he acted and reacted with people. Two days ago I began to do what I had told her to do. I began reading in the gospels noting the way Jesus reacted with people. Then this morning, his reaction to me personally as I read his words was more than I expected.

My heart is growing hungry for more of the Lord. I have been missing him so much. Thank you Lord for not leaving me as I am. I praise you for your ability to see the me you created instead of the one I have become and thank you for using my daughter to show me what I needed to do. Again today I surrender my life to you and trust that you can make me wall again. I love you Lord; have your way in my heart. Amen.

(Never underestimate the influence of a child)

Me and Kristen on her wedding day; it was a happy day!