Personal Growth Behind Bars

Teaching Character/Ethics in a medium secure prison has been beneficial in helping me to keep things real and in perspective. My current class is nearing the end of a 9 week term. Somewhere around the 4th week the men begin to be more open and now nearing the last week the men have become very comfortable during class discussions. My heart breaks each time I hear of childhood neglect, abuse and little lives that know little else. These are the experiences that led many of them to incarceration.

The topic was honesty, which led into truthfulness opening the door to trustworthiness. After much discussion on these, students began to share some of their experiences from childhood. One story in particular gave me a glimpse of just how confusing life as a child can be, when surrounded by a world of mixed messages. The man began to share and it was clear he was uncomfortable, yet he pressed in. Nervously rubbing his eyes and nose he hesitantly spoke of a time when he was only 5 years old.

His mother had taken him into a store where she instructed he and his sister to put on new shoes. Feelings of happiness from the delight in getting new shoes subsided rather abruptly when they were stopped by security on the way out of the store. He said that is when his mother looked down at the children and scolded them saying, "What are you children doing? Take those shoes off!" She acted as though she had no idea what was going on. This man continued to share his disappointment in his mother for lying and even recalled the fear of being in trouble at the time, but he added that the hardest part was not being caught, but his mother denying the truth and blaming it on him and his sister. Though he laughed a little as he stated, "even to this day, she will not admit the truth about those shoes", it was clear he was deeply wounded by the incident.

That story melted my heart. As the man spoke I could see him, but not as he is today. It was as if he was that little 5 year old boy telling this story for the first time. Perhaps it was the first time. I felt compelled to acknowledge his willingness to be so open, which is not always a good thing in the prison setting. This man, now about 35 is hurting and it is clear in his facial expressions, body language and words. He speaks of his struggles and how he has come out of the gang life of the inner city. This story is only one tiny piece of a huge puzzle that has made this man who he is, yet the memory is deeply rooted as are many more. This man in particular troubles my heart and I try to remember him in prayer often.

Lord I pray right now for all of my students. The issues in their lives are very real and far reaching into the depths their souls. This one incident is small in comparison with the many others that have gone unspoken. I pray you touch these men in ways that only you can. Bring healing and restoration for the lives you have created. Have your way Lord in the hearts of these men and may your will be done with and in their lives. You created each one for your purposes. I pray you draw them each one to your heart and I ask for an awakening in their spirits even now. In Jesus mighty and merciful name. Amen!