What Matters to the Lord?

It was a busy day today at work with lots to do. I began curriculum writing for a new class I am about to begin teaching. I spent about 7 hours on the computer. All week long I have been reminding myself to "keep it sweet" as stated in a sermon I heard last Sunday. Just yesterday I was able to keep it pretty sweet throughout the day, but today it seemed people were really getting on my nerves for some reason.

I felt I needed to stop and pray while in the bathroom. Though I felt rushed as my time was limited, I looked at myself in the mirror and knew from my frazzled look that intervention was definitely in order. I began to pray in a quiet whisper and just as I was calling on the Lord, someone hit the door and scared the wits out of me.

The bathroom door has a steel bolt type lock on the inside and it pushes in from the outside with no indicator to tell when it is occupied. So people just walk up to it as though it will open and give it a push. With it locked there is a startling sound as metal hits metal. I was standing near the door when it happened and I literally jumped.

I had closed my eyes for only a moment to ask the Lord to give me his grace for the rest of the day and suddenly, (((Ka-ching))) my heart jumped into my throat and my eyes flew open in the same moment. In front of me stood a full length mirror, so I saw my reaction in full color. With a sudden jerk of the lock and a push of the door I think I frightened the person who was standing there almost as much as she had frightened me. Tonight as I write I am remembering the look on my face in the mirror when it happened. I also remember the way it made me feel. I can laugh a little at myself now, but when it happened, I was a bit shaken. No one else knew about it but me and God, until now.

I am pretty clueless as to why my ability to "keep it sweet" went right out the window today. I am remembering many times throughout this week when I needed to spend time alone because of my inability to tolerate certain people. What is the matter with me? has been the question I ask myself. I spent my lunch hour walking and praying for the Lord to show me what I needed to see and asked him to help me with my low tolerance level.

A poke from the Holy Spirit reminded me that in order to stay in obedience to God, my heart must be in line with his heart. The things that matter to him have to be the things that matter to me. I asked the Lord to show me the matters of HIS heart and to make them the matters of my heart. I also asked him to fill my heart with the burdens of his heart in order to feel what he feels and want what he wants.

As I spoke with the Lord and listened with my heart I knew the answer to what matters to his heart had very little to do with me and my comfort, my need to complete my curriculum writing or the excuse of high humidity I used to dismiss my behavior. None of those things are important to the Lord. What matters to him are the lost people who are all around me. The Lord's heart hungers for those who hunger and thirst. Those who hunger and thirst, but are unaware of what they truly hunger and thirst for. This includes many of the people I work with.

I am calling on the Lord once again to help me to live in the moment and love the people who are in the moment with me. Help me Lord to pay attention to what matters most to you. I realize you want me to do my best in my work, but you also want me to pay attention to those you have put all around me in the process. Help me to relax and enjoy people; taking parts of my day to listen and love as you have instructed. I know you are way more concerned with my heart attitude than what I am able to accomplish in a day so please forgive me. Thank you Lord for the reminder once again and for never giving up on me. I want to trust my ability to love others to you. So I give you my ability and ask that you make it yours. I can only do what you wish if I allow you to do your work in me. I love you Lord. In Jesus marvelous and mighty name, Amen.