Self-image

There is one area where I believe all humans struggle and as I recognize the magnitude of the form of pain and torment that comes from it, I am mindful of the complexity of damage caused by it within the human psyche. From the earliest years of our lives we experience the ideas and attitudes of those entrusted with our lives. We begin to form our own ideas and attitudes based on those of our caregivers. One of the most harmful characteristics of the human existence is that our opinions about ourselves are determined early on in our lives and our self image is little more than a reflection of how we feel others see us.

If we come from loving families with the best intentions, where the adults are already whole and mature in their understanding of who they are in relationship with their world, we are more likely be given a positive message about who we are in relationship to ours. In a perfect world this would be the norm, but in reality a large percentage of children grow up in families where they do not receive a positive message about their very existence. In those cases the child does not access the nurturing and loving acceptance needed in order to feel acknowledged and loved just because they are who they are. The affirming cues that a child needs in order to feel good about themselves are vital to gaining a healthy, positive self image.

What a child believes about him/herself is what they will live out in their daily lives. When they get wrong and damaging messages concerning the person that they are, they will live according to that message. Caregivers and parents can set their children up for success or for failure based on this simple truth. Since a child believes the messages received from the adults in their lives, they will undoubtedly fulfill prophesy that has been spoken over them… good or bad. Getting the wrong message for a number of years creates roots of rejection due to the thought that there is inherently something wrong with them. These roots of rejection are formed very early on and they continue to grow through adult life.