Ok, just one more picture from Jeremy's wedding day. This is a picture of me with two of my favorite girls. One is my granddaughter Olivia and the other is my good friend Tara, AKA little red. I'm sure you can see why I call her little red.

Tara is the one I posted about a while back when she was on a mission trip in Africa. I missed her so much when she was gone, but I believe the Lord used her in some pretty profound ways so I can deal with the separation. Though it seemed she was gone for a very long time, I feel blessed by the time I am able to spend with her now and the stories she tells of how her heart was enlarged for people she never knew existed give me so much desire to continue to hope for the men I work with each day at the prison. Tara talked about how she had prayed for the Lord to soften her heart and give her compassion and as she spoke with a tiny tear in her eye, I could visibly see a change in her spirit.

I too have been praying for the Lord to soften my heart so I am better equipped to do whatever it is he expects from me. I have to admit I have been growing weary. Sometimes it can be so hard to be in the prison setting. It seems I go in with a lot of energy and a good attitude, but by the time I leave at the end of the day, I am a different person. The oppression in that place seems so heavy and it weighs me down as the day goes on. My attitude was starting to show how this was touching my life in negative ways.

Although we are all licensed teachers with the same credentials as those who work in the public school, we are not treated with the same respect from other staff (mainly security) at we should be. The reason is really quite simple. It's all about security. I took me quite some time to realize teachers here are really the little fish in the big pond and we are not appreciated as I had expected.

Coming to terms with the fact that I can't change anyone except myself has brought me to a new understand of what my role in the prison really is. I have been praying about this for months, feeling unappreciated and as thought my job didn't count for much, but now I realize that it simply not so. I know in my hart that I am not to pay attention to what other staff members think about what I am doing because I am put in this place at this time for reasons that I will likely never understand. I realize I am supposed to teach, but not only that, I am supposed to learn and I am open to learn whatever the Lord wants to teach me through this experience.

We are a school with 22 teachers, but we are in the middle of a medium secure prison for male inmates numbering between 1500 and 1800. We see a lot of those inmates as they come to the school building to use the library or the Gym, but the numbers that we educate are between 300 and 400. The students range in age from 16 to 99 so we have a pretty good mix. The students have lockers with locks just like a high school. We offer Adult Basic Education, (HSED) along with five different vocational trades in conjunction with a technical college. Higher level young students are also offered college credits through correspondence that is facilitated by one of our certified teachers as well.

I teach a class that I call Character Development and it is the highlight of my day. The best part is that I can teach it in ways that are comfortable for me. I teach it kind of like a mental health group with a lot of discussion and group work. The students seem to like it and I have been asked to create another similar class called Personal Development that will be designed to help the men set goals for re-entry into the general population. These classes are set up in such a way that I am able to work with students who seem to really want to make change in their lives and it can be very rewarding. There are some who take the class just to get off the unit or to give them something to do, but for the most part the men I teach really want to be there and the ones who don’t usually end up getting something out of it anyway.

So why did I question my validity in my employment? The reason is because I was questioning what I do based on what men expect not what God expects. The funny thing is I knew that all along, but I think my perspective is more in line with the Lords, at least for now. I pray it continue to grow in this direction. Praise the Lord.