Looking back at the choices I made over the past week brought me to the realization that I have not been listening to the Holy Spirit. I knew he spoke to my heart with a nudge on several occasions as to what to do or what not to do in certain issues. Though I was aware of these nudges, I made the choice to do things my own way instead. When I realized that I was being disobedient to God I began to questions myself as to why I would do something like that.
Here is what I came up with. For some reason the issue moved my flesh to act and make change. I felt I needed to do something to fix an issue. Why? Two reasons that I came up with were:
- because God wasn’t moving fast enough and things needed to be made right.
- My desire to make change was greater than my desire to allow God to do it his way
It seemed that when I made a decision to follow the desires of my flesh over the desires of God, I broke that vial connection with him. Once that connection with God was broken it was as if my ability to do anything with the natural leading of the Holy Spirit was stopped as well. Okay, this is not news to me…I understand the principals behind being obedient to God how the choices I make can either bring me closer to living in his will or take me farther away from it. So the question I pose to myself is, why did I allow it to happen?
It’s pretty simple really; I let my flesh win out. The things that I did were not extremely bad things, but the fact that I would take things into my own hands when I knew it was wrong is a pretty strong case of apathy, stupidity, or immaturity; perhaps a bit of all three.
After the fact, I asked myself some very pointed questions during my time with the Lord.
- Why did I choose not to listen to the Holy Spirit?
- What was my motive?
- Why did I disregard the promptings of the Holy Spirit so easily?
My answers to those questions are what made me realize that my view of God is incorrect. Suddenly I realized that my relationship with God was a mirror image of other relationships in my life. I was relating to the Lord in the same way that I relate to other people. It made sense to me when I realized this because of my perception of people being what it is. why would I see God outside of my own point of reference?
Knowing that my world view, as well as my heavenly view, is based on my experiences has brought me to the understanding that I needed to expand my view. I need to break through this bubble called my experiences with people, especially when the view that I see from where I stand is so limiting to God.
come back soon for the next part
4 comments:
I came across your blog while visiting Paula's blog and her post on Verse and Version.
I have really enjoyed reading your 2 posts on Expanding your view and look forward to more to come...
"Why did I choose not to listen to the Holy Spirit?What was my motive?Why did I disregard the promptings of the Holy Spirit so easily?" Oh, how many times I have asked those same questions of myself!
One of my favorite Bible studies, one that changed my relationship with God the most is "Believing God" by Beth Moore. If you have never done the study - I highly recommend it, or read the book! It all begins with Believing Him, not just believing in Him.
Blessings sister. I look forward to visiting again!
It is often when we realize that our view of God is too small or that God is too big to fit our safely organized categories that we are renewed and transformed. It is encouraging to read about your honesty in this process. God's hand is upon you!
I love reading about the transformation of your heart and your views of God. I rejoice because I can see the end result weeks or months down the road...and that is a woman florishing in the grace of God and just soaring in her relationship of Him because of this newfound insight.
Oh how I can relate to your reasons why you follow your flesh: God isn't moving fast enough. I bet that is the thought/feeling/words that He hears the most...He hears His children thinking that He is moving too slow. Oh how hindsight is so perfect. We can then see how perfect His timing was and how without His timing things would NOT turn out so well.
There is an issue in my life that I wish He'd move/answer sooner than later but I've heard too many testimonies and read too much of His Word and other writings of the evidence of His very timely timing!!
Do a search on the word "wait" at biblegateway.com. He tells us so many times to wait on Him.
Lam 3:25 The Lord is good to those who wait upon Him, to the soul who seeks Him.
Ps 46:10 Be still and know that I am God.
Those are only two of the very many. I don't think He tells that to us over and over for no reason. I think when He inspired His Word to be written, He knew His children not only of today but even those in the Word were/are very impatient people. Think about Sarah and how long she waited to get pregnant. Oh the other ladies in the Word had their maidservants sleep with their husbands because they just couldn't get pregnant. Jacob's wife, Rachel, was like that. I believe it was Hagar, her maid servant who first birthed a child before she did.
Blessing, my friend.
Paula
Whoops...Rachel's maidservant is Bilhah. Sarah's was Hagar...they both were impatient and had their husband sleep with their maidservants and bear children.
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